My Immortal Rewrite (MIR)
by catrey10000
Summary: This is a parody rewrite of the infamous My Immortal! No Goffik, no Mary Sues, no vampires, and nothing rated M!
1. Prologue

**Well, here we are; you, the readers, and me, the writer. You hopefully know why you are here. But for those of you who don't, we are about to embark on a great journey; the rewriting of the infamous My Immortal, in fact. Note: This is a PARODY! This is not the original, and not an edited version. No Mary Sue – like qualities, the rating is now T instead of M, and there will hopefully be no grammatical errors. Also, there is only ONE romance in this story. Harry Potter is not mentioned, and everyone has normal names. Also, NO GOFFIK! Hogwarts has a dress code, sweetie.**

**For those of you are here just to read what I have written (In that case, I'm blushing. But the best option is to run in fear, I don't know if the reputation of this story will ever be redeemable. Thanks to all of the insane people who want to read anyway :D), here's a summary of this surprisingly horrible NOT Troll-fic.**

**Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is a seventh year in the "Skull" (Because the author, Tara Gilesbie, is Goffik) of Hogwarts. She is a Slytherin with a crush on Draco Malfoy. Basically, everyone is Goffik, and either has a crush on Ebony, Draco, and possibly Harry "Vampire" Potter. Ebony is obsessed with Hot Topic, My Chemical Romance, and Good Charlotte. I have set out on a quest to amend all of these atrocities done to the Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive and try to give this story a scrap of respect.**

**So, without further ado, we make the first step on our journey. Allons-y!**


	2. Chapter One

**(Well, then. The start of our journey into the depths of this horrible fanfiction by Tara Gilesbie, A.K.A XXXbloodyrists666XXX begins. Wow, this is different than my normal writing style, but I'll do my best! Reviews are much appreciated. If you have problems with this parody, make sure to tell me, and just general feedback would be great! So here we go, the first Chapter of My Immortal.)**

Rain splattered the windows. My mind spun as I thought about myself, criticizing every decision I ever made and will make. Ebony Raven Way, the failure, probably only just getting into the school for witches and wizards she attended; with long, black hair, turning to ginger at the ends, and cold, ugly, ice blue eyes. Me. I fixed my eyes now fixed on a shape outside of the window, huddling against the wind and cold splats of liquid. I gathered my black robes around me and fastened the shiny buttons to protect myself from the draft in the window. I was a Seventh year in the Wizarding school of Hogwarts, waiting to leave so I could practice magic at my say-so, not having to listen to teachers ramble on about spells they learned in the Second year.

I sprang off the bed and ran down the girl's dormitory stairs, not stopping when I reached the Slytherin common room door. The stone walls whizzed past me as I began to sprint, making sure no teachers or prefects were watching. I emerged from the dank halls of the Slytherin tower and exited the Great Hall. A few students glanced up, but then went back to their own activities. I was walking outside Hogwarts, watching the huddled figure I had seen. They looked up, and I recognized the pale face and hair of Draco Malfoy. He stood up and walked to the group of trees I was sheltering under.

"What are you doing here, Ebony? Don't you know it's raining?" Draco asked, with a flash of concern that he covered up straight away, as if he was embarrassed.

"I might ask the same of you!" Ebony said, watching the icy rain drops fall to the tall teen's feet.

"True." He laughed, his white- blond hair falling across his forehead. "Let's get inside, before the both of us freeze." I replied, turning around and jogging towards the castle. The giant doors opened before us; an enchantment that the headmaster, Dumbledore, had cast so that it only opened for the students and staff of the magic school. No one could break one of the old wizard's spells, except for the Dark Lord, and that- Ebony shut off the flow of negative thoughts and looked back up at her friend.

"So—." He began, but broke off as a group of my friends called me and beckoned for me to come to them. I sighed.

"See you later," I said over my shoulder as I crossed the Hall to my friends. He mumbled something I couldn't catch, then turned and whisked away up the stairs.

**(I hope you enjoyed this brief chapter! If you did, make sure to review!)**


	3. Chapter Two

I woke up in my bed the next day and stretched, pulling back the curtains that surrounded my four –poster bed in the Seventh year dorm. Early light shone weakly above the horizon, and I realized that I was one of the first students up. I grabbed a hair band from the table by my bed, and fixed my hair into a messy bun, letting some strands fall across my forehead. I put on my robes, and then hurried down the stairs. One or two other Slytherin sat in the common room, but I paid no attention, just opened the door and set off towards the delightful smell of breakfast in the Great Hall.

The four tables only had about five or ten students each. The Gryffindor table was chatting animatedly and pointing to a student seated at the Ravenclaw table, a new student. I paid no attention to them and looked at my House table. My friend Willow was seated there. I flopped down next to her and snatched some toast from a nearby plate that instantly refilled.

"Hi, Willow." I said, still in the process of waking up. A goblet appeared in front of me, and I pictured it full of pumpkin juice. It filled up and I drank a small amount from it, looking at my friend's sloppy brown hair. She hadn't combed it. "Nice hairdo." I said, grinning mischievously

Willow hit me gently with her fist. "Shut up!"

I laughed, and we sat there in silence until she tapped me again.

"I saw you talking to Draco yesterday," she said, taking a bite out of her banana, peeling back a section of the yellow skin.

"So, what about it?" I said indignantly. "We're just friends!"

"I was just making a statement," Willow said, but her eyes shone with a different meaning. Her gaze slipped over my shoulder.

"Don't look now, but here he comes!" I didn't have to look to know who "he" was.

A gentle hand tapped me on the shoulder, and turned around, finding myself face to face with the pale boy himself. My heart fluttered at how close he was. I was sure he could hear it, but he didn't show it if he did. Willow coughed as she tried to hide her laughter. Draco slumped down on my other side.

"Did you get your parents to sign the note over Christmas so you could come to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" he asked, looking into my blue eyes expectantly.

"Yeah." I said, scooting closer towards Willow. She pushed me back over to Draco. I barred myself against her.

"Great! I can show you this new store that opened. It's a new branch of a sweet shop, originally in Diagon alley."

I nodded, then awkwardly mumbled something about preparing for Potions, and stumbled away from the table, pulling a protesting Willow and her half eaten banana with me.


	4. Chapter Three

The excited students milled around the Great Hall, waiting to be lead out of the school by Hagrid and Professor McGonagall. Hagrid's shout echoed around the Hall, and the first years were lead out of the door, followed by the second years and so on until the seventh years were filing out of the exit. I stood next to Draco, Willow, and my other friend named Raven. Raven swished her black hair and her green eyes flitted towards the new Ravenclaw student. I could tell she admired his intelligence and kindness, and strength and light caramel hair. I had heard from her that his name was Thomas, known by Tom by most of the students. He had an odd full name, which was Thomas Marvalo Rider **(See what I did there? Tom Marvalo Riddle **** Thomas Marvalo Rider. Hint hint.)**

I read quick sections of the book on Merpeople I had checked out from the massive school library while the last students cleared from the hall, then put it away as we boarded the carriages that took us to the train. I shared a compartment on the giant red and black locomotive with Draco, Willow, Raven, and a fifth year from Hufflepuff, though he soon went to join his friends when he realized he was alone with Seventh years. Draco snorted at him.

Raven and Willow stared awkwardly between Draco and I from the other side of the compartment. Tension arched between me and the pale seventeen year old, and I scooted more towards the window. Barely anyone spoke until the train came to a halt in the center of the town.

When everyone had safely left the train and it pulled away, Draco pulled me off to the side to see the new store he had been talking about. Music gently flowed throughout the sweet smelling shop, and we casually browsed the items being sold.

A barrel labeled, "Chocolate frogs," gently rattled, and patters of feet were heard from inside. Another barrel almost over flowed with sugary candies, and a few baskets contained lollipops that each had a different type of insect inside, each for about ten knuts. A barrel of Every Flavor Beans were labeled as seven knuts per scoop. A giant candied scorpion was two sickles. I shuddered as I looked at it.

Draco and I exchanged a casual chatter, comparing different sweets and selecting the ones we wanted to buy.

We left the store with a bag each; Draco's containing a candied insect pop and several chocolate frogs, along with a container of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans that we were sampling; while I had filled my bag with pumpkin pasties and enchanted gummy worms that squirmed in a small pouch.

Other students stood around, playing in the snow or eating and examining products from the stores. We dodged in and out of the warm stores, our winter robes barely protecting us from the cold. I wrapped my silver and green scarf tighter around my neck as the chilly winds blew right through my coat.

A spark of red shot into the air from one of the teacher's wands signaled the end of the trip. Students gratefully rushed to the train and stepped into the warm light inside each of the compartments. I shared one with Draco alone this time, and I slouched against him while unbuttoning my coat and tossing it across the compartment. Draco took out his bag of Flavor Beans and held them out to me.

"Here," He said, taking one for himself and then waiting for me to select a bean. I picked a red one, and it turned out to be raspberry jam flavored. We sat in companionable silence and occasionally flinched when we found a bad Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean.

I looked up in surprise as the train slowed to a halt and others started to leave the train. It had only felt like a few minutes of travel. I shrugged, yawned, then followed Draco out of the train. The carriages again started moving on their own, and carried us all of the way to the castle. Draco shifted restlessly. Our carriage started to drift behind the others, until they were all several yards ahead of us. I looked at Draco with worry. Then it stopped altogether, and started to drift to the side.

"What's happening!?" I exclaimed as the carriage turned to the side and started to race in a direction that I did not want to go towards. We were going to run straight into the Forbidden Forest, and there was no way of stopping it!


	5. Chapter Four

The carriage rolled to a stop somewhere in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. Draco and I exchanged a frightened, yet curious glance.

"Well, whatever that was, we have to get back to Hogwarts." Draco said, jumping down from the carriage and holding his hand out to me. I hesitated, then grabbed his hand and leapt down, leaning on him for support as I landed.

"What will they say?" I asked warily, afraid we would get in trouble for being in the Forbidden Forest, accident or not. Fear started to worm into my mind, and I stepped closer to Draco as a twig snapped somewhere in the woods. We quickened our pace. Draco looked over at me.

"What will who say?" he asked.

"The teachers! And Dumbledore! What if we are in trouble because we aren't at the school right now?"

"Don't worry! Calm down, it'll be fine." Draco reassured me, but I saw his doubtful gaze. Anger began to prick at the fear in my mind.

"How can you know for sure? We might get killed out here!"

Draco let out a frustrated sigh. "You'll be fine, Ebony. I promise I'll take care of you."

"What if I don't need to be taken care of?!" I said, exasperated, the fear flooding my mind and making me lash out. "Why do you treat me like I can't take care of myself?"

"Because I love you!" Draco snarled turning and putting his hands on my shoulders, my back hitting a tree. His gaze softened with sadness. "And you never even noticed."

I stared at him in shocked silence, barely acknowledging the fact that we were leaning closer until our lips crashed together and we kissed. He pressed me up against the tree and I unfroze, twisting my hands into his light hair like I had always longed to do. The silky strands slipped through my fingers, and he pressed against me harder. The tree bark hurt but I didn't protest.

A twig cracked, and then more sounds followed, until the noise was right upon us. We broke apart, Draco and I turning toward the sound. We drew our wands, ready to cast a stupefying spell, but lowered our wands when we saw the familiar giant shape lumbering through the trees.

"And what do you think you're doing out here, eh?" Hagrid asked, flicking suspiciously at them. Two more people fanned out behind him. I recognized the silver robes of the headmaster, and Professor Snape's dark emerald cloak. They all looked down on us, Dumbledore with curiosity, Hagrid with suspicion, and Snape with cold disappointment.


	6. Chapter Five

Draco walked right beside me as the headmaster and Snape led us up to the castle steps. Hagrid had stayed behind to bring the carriage back to the school grounds to be repaired from the crash into the Forbidden Forest. We followed Dumbledore down unfamiliar corridors, until they reached a Gargoyle. Dumbledore mumbled something that sounded like gibberish, and the Gargoyle moved to the side, revealing a spiral staircase. The headmaster silently went up the stairs, hands clenched behind his back, one hand looking severely injured. He saw me looking at it, and his hands fell to his sides as he sat behind the desk in the Headmaster's office.

I had to stop my eyes from traveling around the room as I saw the wide array of knick knacks and books. The Sorting Hat sat on a high shelf, along with a few dusty swords. A bird perched on a stand to the left of Dumbledore's desk.

The Headmaster coughed to get our attention. Our eyes snapped back to the old wizard, peering at us over his half moon spectacles. I realized Snape had left the room.

"Would you like to explain to me what happened?" he asked, his blue eyes making me uneasy as he stared at us.

Draco gave him a brief explanation, leaving out the kiss, and I filled in where he didn't give much detail. When we were done, Dumbledore nodded.

"Seems the thestrals are acting up. I'll have Hagrid see to them." He said half to himself. Draco and I looked at each other. Thestrals? What were Thestrals?

"You are free to go." Dumbledore said. "You will have no punishment, as actions appear to be accidental." He turned around, and started sorting through the books on a shelf, looking for something. I nodded at the Headmaster as we turned and left.

When we were safely past the gargoyle, I let out a sigh of relief. Draco did also, and he touched his fingers to my hand, and I spread them, letting his slip between mine as we walked back to the Slytherin common room. There was no one there, because they were all probably in bed.

"Good night, Ebony." He said, removing his hand from mine as he went to the other side of the common room where the boy's dormitory was. Before he went, I darted over to his side and kissed him, then giggled at his surprised expression, and raced back over to the girl's dormitory stair, vanishing around a corner. Draco turned and went to the boy's dorm, amazed by this girl. His face flushed with embarrassment when he realized that Ebony shared his feelings. The two went to bed, thinking of each other and what all had taken place that day.


	7. Chapter Six

A gentle tapping woke me up the next morning. I looked up and saw Willow next to my bed, tapping my shoulder.

"Get up, lazy!" she said cheerfully. You're going to miss breakfast! I don't know what's gotten into you lately. You always wake up so early." I drowsily followed my friend down the stairs into the Great Hall, and I wondered if Draco would be there. He was, and so was Raven I mumbled a good morning to both of them and stole glances at Draco from time to time. I magically filled my goblet with milk, and filled my plate with eggs, bacon, and a piece of toast.

Someone bumped into me as I was taking a drink from my goblet while listening to the gentle chatter in the Hall. The milk spilled all down the front of my robe, and I turned angrily. I found myself face to face with the new kid in Ravenclaw.

"I'm so sorry!" The Seventh year, Tom, said, looking mortified. Up close I could see why my friends liked him. He looked strong, with his straight caramel hair twisting up at the front. His white teeth gleamed as he grinned apologetically. One of them was slightly chipped.

"My name's Thomas, what's yours?" He asked. I just noticed the shiny prefect badge on his cloak.

"My name's Ebony. It's nice to meet you, Thomas." I looked away, aware of my friend's envious glances. "Impressive, being a prefect when you just moved her."

"I was a prefect in my former school, so it only made sense." He said modestly

"Why did you come here?" I asked; then regretted it. "Sorry, I'm nosing. You don't have to answer."

"It's alright." He said good-naturedly. "My parents moved here because this school was better than my old school, and my father works in the Ministry, so it'll be easier for him to go to work each day from here.

I nodded, swallowing my mouthful of eggs, noticing that many students were leaving

"We'd better get going." Draco said, pulling me up and giving Tom a look I didn't quite understand. Was that… jealousy? "It's time for potions class, and Snape would be mad if we were late."


	8. Can't take it aymore :(

Okay guys.

Moving accounts :(

I've been hacked SEVEN times in the past week or so. My passwords were changed, pretty much everything was screwed up. Sorry for the inactiveness.

My new account will probably be called Madhatterinabox.

This one will be deleted in three days, and I'll repost the stories on my new account.

If you were the one who hacked my account, I just have one word for you. Why?


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